The J-Boy Drama continues. Yoshie, the J-Boy (I should technically call him a J-Man as he is 32) I had been having textual intercourse with has confused the hell out of me this week. Our emails finally came to a stall about 4 weeks ago; having seen each other about 3 or 4 times, he got scared after I took him out with my foreign friends, and naturally the conversation turned to sex, as it usually does with my foreign friends. We think Yoshie became somewhat terrified at the subject we were conversing about with such ease, and didn't have the guts to continue seeing such a scary gaijin, emails only thank you very much. There was also a weird moment when I nearly kissed him in public (Wakako was there, you can't get much more public than that) and he didn't know what to do, and was paralysed with shock. It's rather amusing that a MAN of 32, who plays Kendo, that sport where they FIGHT each other with sticks samurai style, is terrified of a girl he apparently lusts after leaning in to give him a kiss. Sigh. I gave up pretty quickly, and we resumed our little emails, and then those stopped altogether.
Out of the blue he starts emailing this week, god knows why (there was a Xmas party last week in which I didn't really show him much attention at all, perhaps it is the too cool for school thing that floats his boat?!), but he has seemingly been trying to catch my attention again, emailing about Icelandic music and such like. Worst, is that I was in my local bar tonight, run by a reet crazy fella who loves taking photos of everybody who drinks in there, and I asked him if I could see the most recent photos he had taken when I was in there (with Yoshie, as it happens), and he said Takano-san (Yoshie) had already been in to collect them. Er... So I emailed Yoshie and pretended to be a little upset that I hadn't got to see them, and he replies that he has them proudly hanging in his bedroom. Christ on a bicycle and WTF? There is something tragic about all of this; a beautiful, charming, sweet, sexy J-Boy who plays Kendo and is extremely fit, and who apparently seems to like me, hasn't got the guts to follow this through or the balls to rise to the challenge of seeing a foreign girl, and being kissed, once, on the cheek, in public.
I have debated over this for quite some time. Part of me loves everything that makes him Yoshie - a Japanese man - the manners, the sweetness, the gentleness, the lack of aggression, and I think it is almost worth working at and helping him to overcome his shyness and to have a relationship with an English girl which I think he wants ever so much. But then there is the other part of me, the European part, that wants to be wooed with words and confidence and assertiveness, and somebody to take my hand and kiss me in public and not give a damn about who is about or who might see. And somebody who, if they actually like me and want to be with me, don't pussy out and instead look at my photo on their wall. That, is just WEIRD.
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